Ballsie Fuckers

   Lucy said, “Honey, we have to talk. I did something pretty bizarre today, and it involves Sharon.”

“Something bizarre that involves Sharon? What did you do, make her Barbie Dolls anatomically correct?”

“Very funny. I wish it were that mild; besides, Sharon hasn’t played with Barbie dolls in years. Wayne, you’d better sit down and get a grip.”

Wayne sat at the table with his wife, Lucy, his face now taking on a serious countenance. “What is it, Lucy?”

Lucy took a deep breath, then said, “I jerked a man off in Sharon’s vagina.”

Wayne shot up from his chair, standing over Lucy. He shouted, “You did what?”

“It’s true, Wayne, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

Wayne took a deep breath and said, “If it’s not as bad as it sounds, I gotta hear this.”

Wayne retook his seat. Lucy sat up straight and said. “I took her for her first pelvic exam.”

“Oh no, Lucy. You didn’t take her to that quack twat doctor of yours, did you?”

“He’s not a quack. He’s a real doctor, and he’s my doctor. Why wouldn’t I take her to him?”

“Because she needs a real pelvic exam, not a finger-fucking, tittie-nibbling, clit-sucking game of Doctor and Nurse.”

“She got a real exam.”

“And a twat full of sperm, evidently.”

“All right, but that was partly my fault. I got caught up in what he was doing to her. Sharon was turned on like no thirteen-year- old girl ever was. Before I realized it, Dr. Langdon was stroking his naked cock and moving between her legs. The next thing I know, I’ve got him by the cock and I’m stroking it for him. The rest is history. It just sorta happened.”

“It just sorta happened? You never told me you were in the habit of playing with the doctor’s cock. You’ve been having an affair with him, too, haven’t you? He’s your god damn steady lover, isn’t he?”

“No he’s not. I don’t have a steady lover and don’t want one. The main reason I sleep around is for the variety. This was the first time he ever exposed himself. All I ever did with Dr. Langdon was lie still and let him get me off. That’s all he ever tried to do. I’ll tell you this much, though, if I’d ever seen his cock, I’d have begged him to fuck me. Furthermore, if he pulls that cock out on my next visit, I’m leaving that office with a messy pussy.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?”

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   I met Jenny where she worked behind the counter in a coffee shop, one of those hip local poet hangouts that serve esspresso, and cappichino, and rag on the older generation. Young and still foolish she had a nose ring, and a pierced tongue, but what drew my attention was the thin short T-shirt she was wearing that let me oggle her tucked in waist with the ring in her belly button flap above her denim cut offs, and allowed her nipples to poke through atop thos swollen breasts showing that her right one had a ring pierced in it too. Now why a beautiful girl like that would think she needed any other help to get attention than the body, and face she had already was beyond my comprehension. Without all the jewelry she was perfect bait for the next Playboy Bunny of the Year centerfold. But the thing was, on her it all looked great, as did the butterfly tattoo on the outside of her left ankle, so I put it down as something the crowd she hung around talked her into. After all, with her natural honey blond hair, to have it streaked in bright lime, and red purple as if painted was a bit ludicrous even at 18 years old in her sophomore year of college.

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